This Week's Golden Gun Awards

Golden Gun Winner Jeremy Dorn during his award winning performance.

Hundreds of luminaries from the Acadiana thug world decended on Opelousas Saturday night for the weekly awarding of the Golden Gun Awards. From factory fresh Esplanades to a '68 Impala with one headlight broken and no insurance and inspection sticker, these celebrity heroes were dropped off at the red carpet and cheered on by their Thug Support Systems as they went into the theater.

Last night's winners

For Incompetence in Carrying Out a Drive By Shooting
Kendal Pierre August, Christopher Jones, and Bradley Guillory

For Low Lifetime Achievement for Getting Stuck in an Air Conditioning Vent While Breaking into a Business
Robert Gallow

Best Car Chase of the Week
Jeremy Dorn

For Federal Drug Charges
Moses "Uggie" Davis Jr., Charles Brooks, and Gerald "Flint" Haynes

Following the awards event, the town was awash with celebrity parties and gangfights. Many smaller fights broke out among the public, fighting for invitations to the really hot parties/gangfights. The St. Landry Sheriff's Office and Opelousas Police Department report numerous arrests, but all were released on their own recognisance and promised time served by Judge Harris.

Tiger, Where Art Thou?

Where has Tiger gone. Have they kicked you off because you stood up to the left wing bullies? Please contact us, leave a comment here, it will be kept personal and not seen by anyone other than me.

Did the High Schools Have Sports Banquets?

Every May, the 10 high schools in St. Landry have sports banquets. Despite attempts from overseas to eliminate high school sports from St. Landry Parish schools and replace them with communist youth groups which will study the works of Marx, Lenin, Stalin, Mao, and Uncle Ho, high school sports are an important part of lives in St. Landry Parish.

I did not see a report on any banquet in the electronic Daily World. Not a single day of horse racing results was missed, however.

DRIVE BY SHOOTING NOT NEWS?

On Sunday, May 25th there was an altercation at the Delta Grand that resulted in a drive-by shooting in the city limits. The story was reported by KLFY (http://www.klfy.com/Global/story.asp?s=8383266). The Daily World did not feel the need to report on this story until Wednesday, May 28th.

In addition KLFY reported a story on a high speed chase in Opelousas that involved at least two OPD units being struck (http://www.klfy.com/Global/story.asp?s=8396188). This also was not considered newsworthy.

Finally down the road in Ville Platte, KATC runs this story about another local hero pictured above (http://www.katc.com/Global/story.asp?S=8398522), also not newsworthy.

A letter to the editor condemning us all to eternal damnation was considered newsworthy.