Saturday, May 31, 2008

This Week's Golden Gun Awards

Golden Gun Winner Jeremy Dorn during his award winning performance.



Hundreds of luminaries from the Acadiana thug world decended on Opelousas Saturday night for the weekly awarding of the Golden Gun Awards. From factory fresh Esplanades to a '68 Impala with one headlight broken and no insurance and inspection sticker, these celebrity heroes were dropped off at the red carpet and cheered on by their Thug Support Systems as they went into the theater.

Last night's winners

For Incompetence in Carrying Out a Drive By Shooting
Kendal Pierre August, Christopher Jones, and Bradley Guillory

For Low Lifetime Achievement for Getting Stuck in an Air Conditioning Vent While Breaking into a Business
Robert Gallow

Best Car Chase of the Week
Jeremy Dorn

For Federal Drug Charges
Moses "Uggie" Davis Jr., Charles Brooks, and Gerald "Flint" Haynes

Following the awards event, the town was awash with celebrity parties and gangfights. Many smaller fights broke out among the public, fighting for invitations to the really hot parties/gangfights. The St. Landry Sheriff's Office and Opelousas Police Department report numerous arrests, but all were released on their own recognisance and promised time served by Judge Harris.

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